AirBNB

A couple of years ago, I would never have even considered taking advantage of AirBNB. The thought of staying in someone else's home would have been deeply upsetting, akin to suggesting we brunch with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre family or similar. It's bad enough enduring strangers, but staying in their homes? Their private abodes? Just the thought would have set me into a panic. Unthinkable.

But when you take away the main source of stress in a person's life, well gosh. You just never know how much can change for the better. Suddenly, all things might seem possible. And in one of many, even sleeping under a stranger's roof could almost (not quite!) seem pedestrian.

The fact that my sister had started hosting for AirBNB and I could therefore grill her about it was also a huge help. Probably more than she knows, now that I think of it. Thanks, shi shi.

Some Quick Stats: As of this date (11/14/17), I have stayed at 18 different AirBNB locations, starting with my trip from NYC to Wichita, then over the course of two legs of the library trip through all Midwest to western states of the US. I have stayed in AirBNB accommodations 44 nights total, averaging $38.00/night (including all taxes and fees). By comparison, over the course of the library trips, I spent 17 nights in 2-3 star hotels, averaging $90/night (also including taxes and fees).

I think at this stage I can say I'm an AirBNB veteran, at least in the US, and feel emboldened to share some of my insights with you.

My objectives/specs. Before launching into my assessment of the AirBNB experience, it is probably best to understand exactly where I am coming from as a prospective tenant. I am extremely fussy and not at all comfortable staying with family or friends, let alone strangers. Staying overnight in other people's homes is hard for me. But I try to put the weight of that responsibility on me as much as I am able rather than expecting my host to accommodate my every whim, need, or lapse into hysteria. I am painfully self aware and desperately wish to leave no mark behind. I will go above and beyond to be a good guest.

Well before the trip, when I am formulating all of my plans, I use the AirBNB website to review every possible property in each prospective destination repeatedly. I create wish lists and spreadsheets, then narrow my choices down to the last candidates, usually based on star ratings, cost per night, private bathrooms, and weekly discounts (based on need). Many, many people make plans on the fly...I find this horrifying, but the website and app make any style of planning very easy.

Do note! I don’t demand a private bathroom, but if I can get one for a good price, I will go that route every time. I hate sharing bathrooms with people, but if I have to, I’d much rather share with other AirBNB guests only. I think it is amazing that so many hosts don’t mind sharing a bathroom with their guests. But this seems crazy to me. As does hosting for AirBNB, but people make good money doing it.

One thing to know about the AirBNB community is just how disproportionately positive the reviews tend to be, both in the star rating system and the comments section. The overall vibe appears to be live and let live, don't rock the boat, etc. A host really has to mess up to take a hit on his or her star ratings. Almost everyone has at least four stars if not 4.5 to 5. This is problematic when places get great reviews but in reality cannot compare to the better properties. I think a lot of hosts bending over backwards to provide excellent accommodations would be disappointed if not downright mad to know how common it is to find the same glowing reviews and high star ratings at much nastier AirBNB locations.

If a place has less than four stars but you are strapped for cash or options (or are a big softy that believes in second chances), you might check the comments section to see if you can figure out why the property received a lower star rating, but usually there are plenty of other, better rated places to choose from. For me, it is a nonstarter. Though I have delved into the comments sections to see why certain properties got dinged just out of curiosity (e.g. the pics look great so what's the dealio), only to find that more often than not, a host's inability to handle criticism informed my decision about the place just as much as any complaint might have. Word of advice in AirBNB hosting and life: Better to take the high, neutral road (I am sorry to hear you did not enjoy your experience, here is how we are addressing it going forward) than the low, screeching, defensive road (FIRST OF ALL MA'AM...)--it's only going to drag your reputation down into the gutter. Perhaps where it belongs? I don't know? But from a prospective guest's POV, you look like trouble on the horizon. Better to go elsewhere!

So I suppose it should go without saying, but when initially reviewing properties and narrowing down my list, a hectoring tone in the host’s description of the place also earns a hard PASS. A lot of ALL CAPS and admonishments about house rules scream "high maintenance" which is unnerving and anxiety inducing from the start. If it already seems like too much work just reading the description, why bother? All AirBNB accommodations have house rules, by the way, but if the hosts are already shouting and semi-hysterical, maybe just run away.

I will also avoid places where the host’s tone implies that they are doing you a big favor by letting you stay with them. Like, bite me? This is a mutually beneficial arrangement, I'm not kissing your ring. Again, there are usually plenty of other options, and this kind of behavior just suggests that the hosts are difficult, rigid, meddlesome, and too much work. What’s sad is that I’m sure a lot of these terse, cranky listings are from hosts that probably went through a crap situation with a previous guest, thus making them feel the need to overprotect themselves and their property. But to shy renters like me, it just reads as DRAMA, which I do not want in any way, shape, or form. My primary objectives are clean environment, good wifi, safe parking, and to be left the hell alone. In return, I’m quiet, respectful of the furniture/linens/space, and leave a pretty tidy room when I check out. I don’t make the bed, which seems fair to me since sheets should cleaned after every guest, but I actually saw one listing that demanded (with attitude) that beds be made before checking out to which I said why the hell? Grossssss. 

Unless you are a fly by the seat of your pants desperado just looking to spend the bare minimum (which you should stop reading now since none of this applies to you), remember what Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." You can learn a lot about your future hosts by paying close attention to the way they word their listings.

My experiences. For the most part, they have been very positive.
Favorite AirBNB places:

• basement room with a private bath in Pinedale, Wyoming, 
• basement room with private bath in Fargo, North Dakota
• master bedroom with private luxury bath in Loveland, Colorado, 
• super, extra clean room and private bath in Austin, Texas,
• and of course, above and beyond all, the gorgeous casita in Magdelena, New Mexico. 

And while these were the places I loved, I must stress that most of the rest were places I really, really liked. I never assumed every place would be spotless with all new linens and no problems whatsoever. It was a leap for me to believe werewolves wouldn't be crouching under the bed, trembling and slobbering, waiting until I was fully asleep to crawl out and maybe chew off my feet or something equally terrible. So spare and no nonsense were just fine with me; luxuries were seen as just that: luxurious. Like I said, AirBNB has been a very positive overall!

The places I found problematic had cleanliness issues, and it was more often than not based on the fact that people are immune to their own stank. Two of the three places with smell issues had multiple pets, but one had none—all had the same issue: Old pillows, old mattresses, old carpets, old linens—all of which soak in pet smells and human skin smells, or what my friend Yasmin likes to call, “Scalpicin.” The smell of dirty, dirty scalps. This is a term she coined after many rides on the subway with the infrequently washed. Funny thing: people always talk about the homeless and those that never, ever bathe, but there are plenty of workaday people on those subway cars that shower every three to four days or so and really build up a thick, oily lather of dead skin. Scalpicin.

I’ve also stayed at AirBNBs where the room was mostly okay (still scalpicin, but bearable) but other parts of the house were horrendous (e.g. gross kitchens). It’s weird because this is someone else’s house, so you expect them to live in it, breathe in it, cook in it and all that...but you also expect it to be in good shape if guests are coming over, even if they are strangers. And this is doubly so if the ad offers use of the common spaces like the kitchen or laundry room. Why would I ever want to cook in your sticky kitchen on your filthy cookware and dishes? But it also made me doubly grateful for places that were kept spotless...oh that place in Austin. She let me do laundry there in her new machines and they where so nice and everything was so cleeeeean. Also the first time I learned that new dryers no longer shriek ROONNNNNK once they've stopped. They do a nice tinkly winkly song. So NICE.

And of course I’ve spoken of the terrible Bismarck experience, with the passive aggressive arrival plans, dirty house, no locks on the doors, misinformation in the ad about the bathroom, and the creepy guy stalking around day and night. This circles back to the star rating problem--did I mention that they have almost 50 reviews averaging out to 5 stars? They sure do. And there's no way of avoiding this--the reviews of the place make it seem like a beautiful, clean oasis, but this just was not true. Something to keep in mind!

The website. It is extremely easy to sign up and verify your identity with AirBNB. I verified through my Facebook account, but there are other methods. They just want to know you are a real person. Creating a profile is easy, as well. You don’t have to give a lot of personal information if you don’t want to—they ask you about favorite shows, movies, hobbies, etc., but I found that most hosts don’t go past the main description of your reasons for traveling and using AirBNB.

I use my laptop and the direct website for perusing potential places during the initial planning stages--it's a lot easier than doing it via smartphone, in my opinion, especially when you have a ton of tabs open to cross reference and compare. I also use the laptop/direct website if I plan on writing a longer review.

The App. Extremely easy to use. AirBNB does a lot of the work for you via the app, like reminding you to review the places you’ve stayed and telling you when it is time to check into the next place, including quick links to maps and the basics you’ll need when you get there (like wifi passwords). If details about the place are needed, it is easy to look up the original listing or the itinerary to get the full picture. Most places are very similar in offerings and expectations, but it is always good to double check the house rules and other specs before checking in.

You don't have to worry about dealing with charges on the go, either, unless you make a last minute book. The room is charged once you’ve stayed—after you book, you won’t have to think about this part of the process again unless you end up having to cancel for whatever reason. FYI: Most hosts offer flexible cancellation policies, though policies can also be moderate or strict. Each level determines the amount of time you have to cancel and how much money will be refunded. No matter what, the service fee is nonrefundable.

The app is best used after reservations are made and while "on the go." Aside from some glitches at first, it has otherwise been an outstanding help during my travels.

Availability. If you have to stay somewhere central due to commuting needs (i.e. you don’t have a car, need to stay close to a certain area), then disregard, but in my case I was able to book rooms outside the city centers because I didn’t mind driving around the cities themselves (including surrounding suburbs). In fact, it was part of my objective to get a real sense of the neighborhoods and the personality of each town I visited. In big cities like Dallas or Los Angeles, there are always going to be plenty of options near the city center, but they will be more expensive, and they can be sketchitty sketchballs. My $38/night average was based on my ability to drive anywhere and everywhere.

Most big cities have dozens and dozens of choices…so much so that AirBNB will filter findings only by Instant Book listings unless you uncheck that option. Instant Book is for hosts who will allow you to book immediately—I’d say about 75% of listings are Instant Book, while the rest need to approve your stay before you can officially book. I know if it was me, I’d want to review people first, so it’s cool that hosts opt for Instant Book at all. Don't take it as a sign of either a particularly good or bad place to stay--there has been no discernible difference in quality in my experience. I think some single women or all-female households prefer to review people first for obvious reasons. Some outright state that only women are allowed.

In smaller areas, the pickings are slimmer, and in very small towns, there is often either nothing or just one or two places to choose from. It can get very, very pricey if you absolutely must stay in a specific place and have no easy means of transportation (or flexibility on where you stay). These are the only times when a hotel might be just as easy an option as AirBNB, cost wise.

The savings. My AirBNB nightly average was $38, 2-3 star hotels $90. Awesome savings! If you are staying for longer, like a week or even a month, a lot of places offer discounts.

Things to expect.

• You’re staying in someone else’s house, so be cool. This is not a hotel. 
• Read the house rules and try to follow them—they’re almost never unreasonable or inconvenient. Leaving your shoes off at the front door, not letting pets escape, or making sure to put used towels in the hamper is about as far as it usually goes. Some places will even have binders made up with all rules laid out including maps and pamphlets to local tourist spots. 
• Most places have quiet hours and do not allow parties or unapproved extra guests. In my opinion, this seems like it should go without saying, but my sister, an AirBNB host, recently experienced a horrific unapproved guest/wild party situation where furniture was damaged and all levels of inappropriateness was unleashed. People can be Giant Assholes. Don’t be an asshole, not even a mini asshole. 
• I repeat, this is not a hotel! In a hotel you can come and go as you please, but that’s true of all 85 other people staying at the hotel, slamming doors, cackling, screaming, and stomping around at all hours of the night. You can pretty much come and go as you please at the AirBNB, too, but you must be considerate of the homeowners and their families. And quiet hours most definitely apply. I never had a problem with this (headphones) but if you are a screaming meemie, maybe stay at a hotel. 
• Always tip your hotel maid, but tipping is not necessary at AirBNB locations. In fact, many hosts charge a cleaning fee, which is included in the total per night costs. You can see the breakdown of each cost (usually the main rental feel, service fees to AirBNB, sometimes cleaning fees, sometimes occupancy taxes) once you've clicked to see a specific property's availability on specific dates.
• Every hotel with a pool smells like chlorine and every hotel carpet is permanently filthy. Maybe four+ star hotels can shampoo their carpets regularly, but the usual hotels just don’t. AirBNB’s smell like nothing (paint and carpet, maybe), to nice (mild fragrance), to desperate (Glade plug-ins), to stinkity (animal smells, human smells, scalpacin). Most of the time they smell pretty neutral. 
• Hotel staff is paid to help you—sometimes they can be great, but often it’s nothing special. I’ve experienced AirBNB hosts that invited me to dinner, wanted to have long talks, and were bound and determined to accommodate every possible need I might have. Every one of them has respected my privacy and there have been a few I never even saw for the duration of my stay. AirBNB hosts offer a more personal, friendly kind of service, in general, than hotel staff.
• Be ready for a variety of different key/door situations. Some people have keypads to get in and out of the house, so you can use a key or just the keypad. Some have lockboxes and will send you the codes before you arrive. Others greet you at the door with old fashioned keys in hand and advise you of the different idiosyncrasies of the doors and locks. The place in Fontana (near LA) in the ever spiraling cul-de-sac, was primarily set up for AirBNB hosting on the first floor, with four guest rooms and one shared bathroom available, all spic and span, new Ikea furniture and bedding, and locks with keys for each door. The main house door was a keypad, which we were advised to always lock behind us, but one of the other guests had a hard time following that rule and I found the place unlocked at least twice. Luckily it was a nice neighborhood, but they're not all like that. Being able to lock the door to my room also helped. 
• Some AirBNB accommodations have alarm systems you have to learn, others have pets you have to herd whenever you escape the house. In Fargo, I couldn't leave until the Sunday- disheveled host came downstairs to forcibly remove the cat from my ankles. She was hellbent on escaping that house and I was her key to freedom. Not so fast, criminal element! I felt bad for inconveniencing the host, but it goes like that sometimes, and hosts are almost always in good spirits about minor changes to the format.
• And a note about pets: People love sharing their fur friends with guests, almost universally, and so far I've never encountered a host that misrepresented pets in the house or what to expect. There are often rules laid out either on the website or in the house binder on how to interact with the resident furfaces--sometimes in adorable detail--so you should never have to worry about that aspect of the stay. One of my favorite themes is Dog Whose Eyes Plead Starvation but Whose Curves Say Otherwise. There are a lot of AirBNB pets who know how to work a crowd.
• Some AirBNB accommodations offer the bare minimum: a towel, a bed with linens, family sized shampoos and body washes (if that); others roll out the red carpet, with hand soaps, lotions, Kleenex, razors, varieties of bath soaps and shampoos/conditioners, coffee machines, snacks, water, sleep number beds, heated blankets. The works! But don’t expect the works, just be grateful for it when it happens. More than once I had to bring my own Kleenex and set out my own bar of soap for simple hand washing. 
• Most hosts are very social, very kind, and genuinely good people. I think it comes with the territory—people who open their homes to the world have to have some level of extroversion. A few were awkward, so when I added my own awkwardness it just made things triple, extra spicy awkward.  This is the human experience and we must go with the flow, even if the flow goes against our hyper vigilant squirrel mind.
• Most hosts will text you ahead of time to ask when you will arrive. Do not take umbrage at this—it’s very common and to be expected. Many hosts are turning over rooms night after night and need to have some sense of when you will arrive. They have busy lives with kids and appointments and work--unlike hotels who live and breathe to serve only you (or so they'd like you to believe wink wink). 
• Many hosts also require that you arrive between a range of times (e.g. 5 to 9). A surprising number of hosts say you can arrive "whenever" but I'd take that with a grain of salt. If you have a private entrance with a keycode or lockbox (thus not requiring any interaction) that's probably true, but more likely than not you will have to meet the host to gain first entry into the house. Texting and planning will save a lot of aggravation! 
• Some hosts will even make you breakfast, and not just a breakfast bar on the run but actual, complete breakfast, something to factor into the cost savings. My very first AirBNB experience, a basement room in a huge, newly built house in the Pennsylvania woods, came with a full breakfast delivered to my door while I was in the shower. I never saw the hosts, but they were amazing cooks!
• I’ve never had a hotel overbook and some hotels have even bent over backwards to rebook rooms while I was sick, getting me the same low rates as before. But I did have one AirBNB host cancel on me the day before I was going to check in due to complaints they received from their neighbors (which filtered down to the landlord and led to a ban on AirBNB guests). I was still sick in Galt, so none too happy to go through the process of finding a new place, especially one I intended to stay in for a whole week. Lesson? AirBNB might cancel on you out of the blue, but hotels rarely do (and if they did, you could probably get all kinds of yummy vouchers for free nights in the future and just book at a similarly priced hotel elsewhere).
• You are not obligated to socialize with hosts if you do not want to. Usually the house rules and description of the place will give you a sense of what to expect (we have two rowdy dogs and a 2 year old with questions vs. I'm never home and you probably won't see me but text me if you need anything). My hosts in Pinedale invited me up to socialize but I politely passed. After driving all day I was very tired and not in the mood to talk to anyone. I just wanted to watch my Blue Bloods and trip the light fantastic down Candy Crush lane. But that didn't stop me from partaking of their hospitality the next morning as I wandered upstairs to fetch some banana bread and a banana (yes, I ate double banana breakfast what of it). It feels weird trundling around a stranger's home when they are not there, but the more experience I acquired with AirBNB, the easier it got. 

Postscript. If I can do it, you can, too. I would highly recommend AirBNB. It is a safe, inexpensive alternative to staying in hotels. Just do your research and take your time--really pour over those pictures, the descriptions, house rules, and the comments sections. If people are generalizing or noncommittal, take note of that. If the listing is new and no one has reviewed it, proceed with caution. Fraud can happen. Use your best judgement and trust that inner alarm that goes off when something doesn't seem quite right. No amount of cost savings is worth your well being and safety! But be brave, too. There's a whole world to see, and this community-based hosting service really does work.